Jesus: My Dwelling Place
Wow. What a word and promise to me.
The last eight months have been some of the most gut-wrenching of my life. I have watched dreams that I have dreamt since I was a little girl get ripped from my hands.
After a series of events earlier this year my husband, Alex, and I were forced to start over – move from our first home together. That home was our safe space. Alex remodeled it for me before we got married. He poured his heart, soul, and dreams into that little house. Those dreams were locked away inside us; we had created our family’s entire future there.
When we found out we had to leave for reasons out of our control, I was sure we were living in hell. It felt like everyone around us had an opinion about the situation and no one wanted to hear ours. Words like, “God’s got this!” and “Just trust God’s timing. Everything happens for a reason,” felt like daggers.
The nights were long and dark. Tears soaked our pillows as grief entered our story.
Have you ever felt this way?
I want Jesus. He knew this word in his blood stream. I am going to know it there too. So, in this season, after losing so much, I’ve started to ask myself some questions.
What did Jesus know about His Father that gave Him permission to rest, especially when life was excruciating? How did He rest? What was Jesus doing in the first 30 years of His life? Did He get angry? What gave Him peace when no one understood?
Abide means: to remain, to continue, to stay, to dwell.
Doesn’t that sound cozy?
I have a feeling in those first 30 years, that’s what Jesus was doing. He was becoming solid in who He was, He was adventuring, He was reading, He was resting, He was laughing, He was exploring, He was dreaming.
He was ABIDING.
He knew what His Father’s opinion was about Him. His Father loved Him before He did any ministry. Jesus was His pride and joy for no other reason except that He was His son. The rest flowed from there.
Abiding is not easy or normal. Honestly, it looks “wrong” to most. But Jesus knew this word in the core of Himself. It’s why once He started His ministry, He would give Himself permission to go away alone and why He wouldn’t heal every person in the crowd.
Now, all of a sudden, I don’t feel so alone and isolated.
When I don’t understand why my life is playing out this way and I am angry: Abide. Dwell. Rest. The expectation to do anything else is off of me.
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1 ESV) “My presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)
I have permission to sit with Jesus and stay there. He gets it. He won’t say, “Trust Gods timing!” He has said and will continue to say, “Erin, I am so sorry. I love you. This is not fair. This breaks my heart too. You didn’t do anything wrong. I am Here.”
That’s a friend.
A few days before Alex and I got married I looked up the meaning of Pujol – my soon-to-be last name.
Pujol means, a dwelling place at the bottom of a mountain.
Ha! Of course.
Alex and I are abiding – it’s in the name.
So what if it doesn’t make sense to some? Jesus didn’t always make sense. But He knew who He was, and nothing could shake that. We are grounded in the promise of Abide.
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide (some translations say, remain secure and find rest) in the shadow of the Almighty.” (Psalm 91:1 ESV)
We recently moved to our new “safe house”, where we can dwell together in peace knowing we are held, loved, and home.
“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.” (Romans 8:11 NLT)
This beautiful Spirit that lives inside us is leading the way for us now and all we have to do is sink into it. It is not easy, but we have a place to grieve together, heal, and fly. For that, I could not be more grateful.
If this story resonates with you, you are validated.
Our family is sending you love, and Jesus with you, ABIDING with you already.
—Erin Lindsey Pujol
I am passionate about abundant life and learning to trust its timeless flow. I love creating health and wholeness in every area of my body mind spirit. I adore the human mind and all that there is yet to discover about it. My happiest day includes my strong and steady husband – Alex, our golden retriever child – Evie Lynn, a coconut milk latte, and an adventure in my favorite pair of moccasins.